Living in Southern California where public transportation is not really considered reliable, people tend to be too dependent on cars.  Let’s face it, the conveniences a car offers…no waiting on a bus stop (especially during winter!), fumbling for change and switching trains & buses…plus, the amount of time you save!

Having taken the bus for more than 2 years in Los Angeles, I’m proud to say that I’m familiar with it and won’t be scared to take the Metro when a car is not available.

The other day, I got to ride the bus again…As I was sitting there doing nothing, I realized that bus (or train) riders can be broadly categorized into the following:

1.  The Tourist

They are the ones who enjoy the ride the most.  Usually with a camera and click, click, clicks away…They take photos of everything including street signs such as Beverly Drive and Santa Monica Blvd.  They usually get off at landmarks and can normally be seen carrying a map (or lost).  If you see them on a bus and they seem lost, try to help them as much as you can…they’ll appreciate it and you’ll feel good about it.  Besides, when you’re in an unfamiliar place, you’ll appreciate friendly locals too!


2.  Newbie

This group is composed of a) those who have never been on a bus, and b) those who haven't been on a bus for an eternity.  Most of them come unprepared...no idea how much the fare is, how to pay and where to get off.  

Once in a while, you'll find a few who "explains" why they need to take public transportation for that day.  They automatically say statements like "oh, I have to take the bus today because my car broke down" and "I have a car but I don't want to drive through the traffic".  Trying to be defensive creates nothing but judgement...a stereotype for bus riders.  There's nothing wrong with taking public transportation...Nobody cares if you have a car but decide to take the train because you want to save on gas.


3.  Make-up Master

These women make me proud!  They can expertly use an eyeliner while the bus is in motion.  They can juggle between a mirror, a mascara and a cellphone.  They get off the bus looking like they just stepped out of a salon.  I will never ever attempt to do what they do…unless I want to look like a clown with uneven eyebrows...and a poked eye!


4.  Irritable Passenger

They’re irritated with everything!  Very impatient with the driver, the traffic, their co-passengers and the smell of the bus.  Every time, I’m tempted to tell them to go buy a car or ride a cab.  If you opt to take public transportation, don’t whine.  


5.  The Germaphobe

You need not tell me how clean public transportation is.  Anything with the word "public" actually gives out a clue on how many germs are present in it.  But in a world where seeing is believing, we're not really worried about our health when we touch the handle bars on a bus.  However, there are individuals with super microbial vision...they carry covers for the seat, tissue paper for the handles and alcohol for everything.  They are the Germaphobes... 


6.  Sleepyhead

They are the ones who doesn’t care about what’s happening around them...Sleeping through the traffic and the noise…They’re either too tired, bored or was just coming home from a party.  What’s funny is that for a Sleepyhead Pro, they automatically wake up when they’re about to reach their destination.
 
I used to belong to this group..sleeping on the bus like I’m on our living room sofa!  I stopped doing that after a crazy drunk dude brought a pocket knife inside the bus and scared the heck out of all the passengers…and I was there, barely one meter away from him, asleep!!!  And no one even bothered to wake me up!!!


7.  Never-ending Conversation Maker

They go far beyond the “hi, hello..how are you?” question.  They will let you know what their job is, where they live, how many kids they have and their neighbor’s favorite tv show!  Seriously, these guys won’t take your non-responsiveness as a clue that you don’t care!  In case you're sitting next to one...just pretend you're a Sleepyhead, it will probably shut them up...just don't miss your stop!


8.  Phone-absorbed

Their cellphone is the center of everything.  They can spend the whole ride making updates to their Facebook and Twitter accounts.  They check their emails and text messages.  I also consider bookworms and gamers part of this group.  They're generally quiet...boring.


9.  Excess Baggage Carrier

Once in a while, you get to see them.  They're the ones with so many luggage...they occupy three seats (or sometimes, the whole aisle).  They're generally nice and apologetic...but it doesn't change the fact that you're standing for the whole ride when you could have been sitting on one of the chairs...


10.  M.Y.O.B. passengers

Mind Your Own Business (M.Y.O.B.) passengers are the wall paper of public transportation.  They're neither bored, excited nor happy about the ride.  You won't pay much attention to them since they make no sound.  However, be on guard...that person might be writing a blog about you.


Take a bus once in a while…it’s fun!  You might actually enjoy it....Then tell me, in which group do you belong?

I can still remember when I saw the September 11 bombing of the World Trade Center on tv...it was 10 years ago...but the terror and grief it brought to many will last a lifetime.

It has been a decade but I don't think America (or the whole world) ever recovered from it.  Millions of dollars and lives were lost in trying to seek justice for what happened.

What's justice?  And what's the peace everyone is supposed to have? Last May, Osama bin Laden was killed by the US army...was that the justice the victims and their families were waiting for? 

A week ago, I read an article in Yahoo news about a friendship between a very unlikely pair...the mother of a 9/11 victim and the mother of Zacarias Moussaoui, an al-Qaeda member and believed to be a part of the 9/11 attack.

As a human being, it was easy to pass judgement on the mother of Moussaoui...to some extent, blame her for what became of her son...but after watching the video and hearing what she has to say, I cried.  She too, was a victim.

True peace comes from forgiveness.  As what Phyllis Rodriguez, the mom who lost her son to the bombing, said  "I don't forgive the act, but trying to understand why someone has acted in the way they have is part of the process of forgiving. Forgiveness is being able to accept another person for being human and fallible."

The two mothers, in their agony, saw each other's courage...in their loss, found a friend...

Please click this link to read the article and watch the video.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I have been bombarded with thousands of advices from well-meaning relatives, friends, and yes, even strangers.  Of course, knowing nothing about being pregnant and raising a kid...I tried to follow it all...until I got tired...

Best advice I ever got?  DO NOT heed them all!!

Seriously, if I do everything everyone told me to do, I would go far beyond crazy!!  I don't mean to dismiss all the suggestions (and sometimes, criticisms)...just follow what you feel will work best for you and your baby.  Eight months of being a mom is not a lot if you compare it to 30 years of experience my mom had...or to Octomom's expertise with raising her octuplets...or to the knowledge single moms have...you get my point?  Each of us is different as our babies are unique.  What might work for one parent would not necessarily be a hit with another.

Being new at this, I don't pretend like I know everything...truth is, I know nothing.  That's why we need supportive family and friends to help us make the transition from being childless to being a parent.  It's just that with all the suggestions on how to do things, it will be overwhelming.  Suffocation from information overload.

So, what do I do when someone approaches me and tells me a "better" way to take care of my baby?  I listen first.  If it's something I feel would help me, I welcome it.  There's nothing wrong with giving it a try...if it doesn't work, I let it go.  There's no sense brooding over why it works for others and won't work for me.

Listening is the key.  When someone's giving out parenting advice, listen.  Everyone is just trying to help (or so, they think!)..so be nice.  If it's something you've heard before or something you know won't apply to you...try to say something like "Thanks, I've tried that before..but I found out _ _ _ works best for me and my baby".  If the advice is totally useless, just smile and say thank you.  At the end of the day, just pick out the useful information and throw the rest out. 

Bottom line is, you are the parent and you know what's best.  We have all heard about "mother's instinct" or "parent's instinct"...you have it.  Listen to the inner voice inside you, couple that with good information and I think you're good to go. 

My daughter has four teeth now!!!  It was cool seeing her with all those teeth...I feel like she's no longer an "infant" in my eyes...aaaaw...she's growing so fast!

Teething usually starts around four to seven months.  Usually, the two bottom teeth will be the first to come out. 
So, what are the signs that your baby might be teething?

- excessive drooling
- fussy or cries a lot
- body temperature is higher than usual (not fever)
- cries or seems irritated when you touch the gums
- don't want to eat
- soft stools

According to our doctor, some babies even lose weight when teething.  It's because some of them doesn't want to eat...if you have concerns about your baby's weight or if your child has a fever, contact your pediatrician.

We were lucky our daughter didn't give us a hard time during her teething phase...only a day or two of being extremely fussy.  The first time (two bottom teeth were coming out), I had no idea what's wrong with her.  She wants to be held all the time and would sometimes want to chew on something hard...like her crib or, in some cases, my shoulders! 

To ease the discomfort, chilled teethers help.  We alternate three or four teethers...while she's using one, the rest were chillin' in the fridge.  I never thought of using pain relievers as I don't deem them necessary.  Teething is a normal process every baby has to go through...and I feel that if I give pain meds, she won't get used to "little bits" of discomfort...aside from the teethers, we gave her lots of hugs instead!

Time goes by fast...in a few years, we'll be getting visits from the tooth fairy for these..

I just want to share the top 5 products which helped me a lot during my transition to motherhood:

1.  AngelSounds fetal doppler

I was a paranoid pregnant woman!  I used to think all sorts of negative things happening to my baby without me knowing.  To make matters worse, my ob-gyn, who did an ultrasound during my first check-up (which is at my 6th week of pregnancy), won't see me again until I am 12 weeks. 

At 10 weeks, I was in a state of panic.  What if my baby doesn't have a heart beat?  What if he/she's not moving?  And all those crazy "what ifs"...I know it's perfectly normal to worry, but at that time, nothing can really calm me down.  I went to my doctor and asked him to check if my baby is still swimming in there!

I also decided to get the AngelSounds fetal doppler.  It's pretty cheap (less than $30) compared to other fetal dopplers (more than $50), which was a plus.  Though I read a couple of bad reviews (doesn't work & weak headphones), I still made the purchase...and I'm thankful I did!

The doppler's exterior is made of some cheap plastic..but hey, for the price...i have no complains!  For me, the pros far outweigh the cons.

Some say, you have to be around 15 weeks pregnant to hear anything.  But in my case, at 12 weeks, I can hear my baby pretty well (heartbeats & somersaults alike!).  You don't have to buy any lubricant/gel, I only used baby oil and some even says that water works just fine.  The headphones is also working properly, though, you can also use other headphones if you want to.  Another feature is you can record the sound and share it with family & friends...To do this, plug the doppler in a computer (where you're supposed to put a microphone)...and record away! =) 

I just have the following notes:
1.  Know where to place the doppler.  If you're on your 1st trimester, you have to go low...when I say low, it means around the pelvic area. 
2.  Be patient.  It may take a while for you to find anything....look for fast, galloping sounds...that's your baby, alright!!
3.  Know that the doppler is not a medical device.  You can not use it in lieu of a medical opinion.  If you feel worried about your baby, call your doctor.

Overall, I love this product...I did not use it everday but knowing I can listen to my baby anytime in between doctor appointments is assuring for me.

2.  Boppy pillow

I got this as a gift on my baby shower.  I so love it!  It provides great support while nursing and it's really comfy too!

My baby is now 8 months old and we still use it everyday.  Be sure to get a second slipcover though, in case the first one is in the wash.

3.  Lansinoh Disposable Nursing Pads

Of all the breast pads I have tried, this is the best!  It's really absorbent and thin.  You can compare it to your baby's diaper...Seriously, you'll forget you have them on too.  It also has two adhesive strips so you don't have to worry about it falling off.   

4.  Medela Harmony Breast Pump

To tell you the truth, the first time I used a breast pump, I feel like a cow being milked!!!  (So that's how they feel...Poor cows...)

I bought this because I want my baby to drink MY milk as much as possible.  Exclusively breastfeeding is tough, especially, if you have to leave your baby for a couple of hours.  This breast pump helped me a lot...It's very easy to assemble, easy to clean, and has very simple, easy-to-use parts...It also comes with two 5 oz bottles and nipples.  Feeding the baby is so easy because you don't have to transfer the milk to another bottle.

Some have been asking me why I didn't buy the electric pump and chose to go manual...For me, since it was the first time I'm going to use one, I feel like I would be more comfortable if I could control the pressure and the speed of how I express milk...

Though I have nothing against electric breast pumps, I just can't imagine myself with two of those stuck on my breasts...feel like I have to put the milk in a box and sell it in grocery stores... =)

5.  Nuk Nature Orthodontic Bottles

My mom bought these...when I read the label, I was like, "ortho what??".  My baby doesn't even have teeth yet and there's an orthodontic bottle??

But you know what, it turned out to be great!  The nipple is shaped like a mother's breast during feeding that's why it also makes the transition from breast to bottle easier.  It has a sealing disc which is great for travel (no leaks!!)...promotes healthy teath formation...and, it reduces the air your baby swallows.  I've never had any problems with this bottle...will be getting the 10 oz bottles soon!

When I was in highschool back in the late 90's, there was a song which quickly became my favorite...it's actually not a song...it's more like someone reading a speech with some background music.  It's called the "Sunscreen Song".

Through the years, I forgot the lessons a bit...and lately, I tried to look for the lyrics and read it once more.  Also, found the history behind it here ---->   http://www.bondon.com/sunscreen_song.html

Just want to share the song with you guys and hope that, like me, you'll find a line or two (or more) which you can apply to your life..

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Lyrics to "Everybody is free (to wear sunscreen)"
    by Baz Luhrman

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

I was treated to a nice, relaxing, full body & mayan abdominal massage the day after my birthday..it was a surprise gift from my hubby!  Guess, he knows I needed it badly!!

The place is called "Tao of Venus".  They offer various healing and restorative treatments such as acupuncture, relaxing massages, sauna detox and facials...As the name suggests, they mainly focus on women's health, though men are also very much welcome.

They have just recently moved to a new location and the place is just awesome!  It's a quiet, peaceful retreat in the middle of such a busy area!  From the moment you step in, you'll feel your body relax...from the soothing aroma to the sound of flowing water. 

For the massage, I was given the option to choose from swedish, deep tisssue or hot stone.  I chose swedish as I'm not a fan of deep tissue and I'm scared of the hot stones (lol).  The massage was not extraordinary but was more than okay...it loosened up my stiff and aching muscles..and I felt I can carry my baby for 5 hours straight after! (you know I'm joking, right?)  

Now, the mayan abdominal massage...that one, I just love!!!  This was my second time to go to Tao of Venus for this massage.  The first time was more than a year ago and was because I was having difficulty getting pregnant.  The said massage focuses on the abdominal area and helps put internal organs in their proper places (not that my liver is located where my uterus is supposed to be!).  It basically guides the uterus to the center and clears blockages for better reproductive health.  Well,  I guess it worked since I got pregnant after ONE session with Beth (the owner)!

Before the massage, Beth will ask you questions on what your concerns are and what you expect from the session.  Then she'll explain how the massage can help address those issues.  She's very thorough and takes time to talk to every client.  You won't feel rushed in any way.  The massage lasted for an hour and was like 3/4 spent on the abdominal area and 1/4 on the back and legs.

After the massage, they have a relaxation area at the back where you can drink tea, water or just sit and read from a collection of books.

My only disappointment with the place is the lack of parking area.  They have a 2-hour street parking at the front...which, unfortunately, was very much full when we got there.  So, if you have an appointment booked, be sure to be there early so you can scour the area for parking.

I'll definitely go back...probably to try their acupuncture!  By the way, forgot to mention that their prices are reasonable too. 

Just in case you want to check them out, their website is http://www.taoofvenus.com.

What a birthday surprise...such bliss!!

Okay, now back to reality....I think I hear my baby crying...

They say a woman becomes a mother as soon as she becomes pregnant and the man becomes a father when the child is born.

The first time we went to the ob-gyn to confirm I was pregnant and I saw that little dot on the ultrasound screen, I knew I would do anything I can to protect my baby.  Still reeling with excitement (and fear of the unknown), I searched the internet about anything related to pregnancy.  I joined forums to check out what other pregnant moms are going through. 
I stopped all the caffeine in my diet...No coffee, soda or tea.  Not drinking the first two was easy...the tea, that was hard!  I had to give up my iced tea, thai tea & black tea cravings for 9 months!! 

I also drank a tall glass of milk everyday..twice! (I'm never really a milk fan, just so you know).  I ate lots of fruits and vegetables...and everything that's good for my baby.

But really...when does motherhood begin?  

In my opinion, it doen't start with pregnancy...if it does, no one would commit abortion.  

Motherhood starts with love.  It's when you start caring for your child more than you care about yourself.  That is why even a woman who never got pregnant can also be a good mother...because she cares about the child, her child...sometimes even more than the biological mother herself.

I remember there was this question in a website..."when did you realize you're a mom?"...my ah ha! moment...my answer..?  It was when I willingly wake up every 2 or 3 hours to nurse and to change my newborn baby's diaper...It was when I got pooped, peed and puked on (the dreaded P's) but still laugh while cleaning myself...It was when I feel like crying when they took blood samples from her little feet...it was when I feel proud of every little achievement...and the list goes on...

To sum up, there's a quote I've seen a hundred times before but never really struck a cord until now:

You have never known what love really means until you became a mother - Anonymous

Thanks to my mommy, aunts and everyone who's been a mother to me. =)  I love you all!

continuation from Part 1...

We arrived at the hospital at exactly 7pm and went straight to the labor and delivery section.  The nurse asked me if I'm having any pains...which I answered yes...a little bit.  I feel really heavy!  Still no back pains...(why do I keep on waiting for the back pains?!?!)

They took me to one of the labor rooms and asked me to undress and put on a lab gown.  A nurse came in and asked me hundreds of questions...only thing I remembered was if I'll have epidural...which I answered “YES!” automatically.

After a couple more minutes, my ob-gyn showed up to check my progress.  He told me I’m already 8cm!!!  The dilation of the cervix before delivery should be 10cm...I'm only 2cm away!  Jude and I were shocked!  And I was even having second thoughts about going to the hospital!?! 

After that, the nurse asked more questions…asked me what my level of pain is (from 1-10)...seriously, for me it's just 7... She was like “just 7?"...So, through the contractions, I said “okay..now, it’s 8.”  I guess from reading too many birth stories, I imagined that the level of pain would be too high...

Another nurse came in, placed an IV on my vein and took some blood samples.  She told me we need to wait for the blood results before I can have epidural.  Honestly, at this point I knew God granted my prayer...no pain meds.

More contractions..like every couple of seconds.   The nurse came back and said we don’t have the blood results yet, and I might have to start pushing.  She checked me and I’m already 9cm...No time for epidural!  I feel tired and want to drink water...which, unfortunately, is not allowed.  She gave me a cup full of ice chips instead.

My water bag is still intact at 9cm dilation...my doctor said he has to rupture it.  He also placed some sort of device on my baby's head...to hear the heartbeat better. 

He left the room and the nurse said I have to start pushing...she'll bring me to the delivery room when they can see my baby's head.  Okay, so...I really don't know how to push!  That's the hard part...she said I was pushing with my face...I wanted to laugh but was too frustrated to do so!  What the heck is pushing with my face?!  She was teaching me how to push the correct way...Ugh! That was tough!  She told me I have to push like I'm doing "number 2”...why is it so hard when you're not sitting on a toilet bowl?!

I was so thankful that Jude was there the whole time...counting 1 to 10...helping me push...sometimes distracting me..  There's a tv inside the room and it was tuned in to a Peanuts Christmas Special.  Jude was like, can you tell me the name of this and that character?  Between contractions, I would say..."Oh, it's Pigpen...*contrations* and that's Peppermint Patty..."  Can we stop this please..I'm having a hard time breathing!  LOL.  It's funny now...it was frustrating then...up to now I still can't remember the name of that one character....there was also this one time he told me to "not look like I'm weak"...ummm...can you tell me how to do that...? 

Anyway, back to my story...After much pushing and little luck with doing it right...I looked at the clock and it's almost 10pm..I told myself, I want to give birth before 11!  I pushed, pushed and pushed!  Finally, they can see my baby's head...they wheeled me in to the delivery room and that was it!!!  It's time!!

The delivery team was composed of my doctor, a female intern, a couple of nurses...and my husband.  They were all urging me to push harder...to push through the contactions!  I was no longer looking at any of them.  I just closed my eyes and pushed as hard as I can. 

Then, I felt my doctor pull her out...our baby...whew!!  They cut the cord and brought her to the cleaning area.  Jude asked me if he can go and see her...

While he was taking pictures of our daughter, I gave birth to the placenta...double whew!!  It was such a huge weight off me...then they started to stitch me up (I had an episiotomy).  I felt everything!  Even the stitches.  Now I truly believe that our bodies are capable of so many wondrous things…that some pain are just in our minds..that women can make it though natural delivery without any pain meds...(just like the old times!)

The nurse from the labor room cleaned me up.  She pressed on my abdomen and I felt a gush of blood...old blood.  She said I wouldn't want that inside me.  She helped me move to a different bed and then handed me my daughter, Shandi.  I still can't believe it!  We arrived at the hospital 7pm...I gave birth 10:32pm.  God is great!

It all felt surreal.  Like, you know it's your baby...but you still can’t grasp the reality of it…Like, how did this happen? The miracle of life and my share in it…

Before, I imagined myself crying after giving birth…but being there...at that moment...I didn’t cry…I was immersed in the wonder and beauty of it all…of giving birth without pain meds, of being with my husband the whole time, of sharing this wonderful experience with him…and then, finally seeing and holding our baby in my arms…I didn’t cry…I was in awe…and full of thanks for all our blessings…I just want to say Thank you Lord!